Spirituality (or Hinduism, to call it by its proper name) has been appropriated by hemp wearing, clean-living, judgemental white people but for me, awakening wasn't a lifestyle choice, it was a calling.
I always felt connected. As a child I felt a presence around me and was fascinated by the esoteric. Things, thoughts, movements would happen and I wouldn't understand. But I seemed to have a connection with past and the arts, with a healthy understanding of science.
As a teenager, a razor-sharp intuition was developing. I knew my cousin had a baby, even though neither of my parents had knowledge of it. I accurately analysed and assessed people and situations with 99% accuracy (that 1% may be accurate, but I don't know so can't claim it). I started to live by mantras like; everything is connected, TANC, everything happens for a reason and don't ask don't get, without understanding its metaphysical importance.
Moving into adulthood, I started to understand this intuition more when I noticed patterns in my feelings and thoughts. I always knew when I would be offered a job. I instinctively knew if I would thrive or die in an environment. And every closed door, disappointment and mistake led me exactly where I needed to be to be a writer - and earn money - in roles where I've consistently climbed the ladder. None of this was by accident, but similarly, it wasn't by design.
I also started to awaken to our corrupt structures that oppress us, like the church (I believe it's devil worship) and government. But most importantly, I started having conversations with God - who always protected me and sent me messages that put me on the right path (a divine encounter in Brazil and my boyfriend at the time pushed me towards writing) - none of this was coincidence or psychosis. And if the question I was asking wasn't for my greatest good, God was silent but my intuition was screaming. And it's ALWAYS right.
Then we come to romantic love. It was this that triggered the first stage of my awakening. I started noticing 11:11 everywhere and noticed that whatever I was thinking when I saw this master number manifested. I started having lucid and prophetic dreams. I saw aparitions. And I noticed that magpies were a good omen.
Love and heartbreak taught me so much about myself and my emotions. It pushed me to the edge, nearly costing me my life. A feeling I never want to repeat but also one I wouldn't replace. Love is beautiful, even when it's painful. I carried these wounds, plus the wounds from childhood with me. I treated my melancholy like an old, reassuring friend.
That was until I met my twin flame (I know this is contentious due to toxicity, but this wasn't the case here). I moved to a different stage of awakening, one where I started noticing my powers. And faced into my trauma and healed.
I suddenly became conscious of my intuition and when I healed, I let go of all the limiting beliefs I held about myself to find joy, zen and gratitude for my amazing life and self.
Everything started to make sense. And the astrology around all of this is wild, TANC.
Thoughts I had as a child. I knew him long before we ever met. My soul recognised him the minute we started chatting, I declared he was the male version of me, and the synchonicities between us and my etheric connection to him during separation was undeniable. And slowly I stepped into the best version of myself.
I understood my purpose and why I wanted to study philosophy. Why I was fascinated by India and China as a teenager, why I was hellbent on travelling, especially drawn to UNESCO Heritage Sites (connection to the ancients and ancestoral wisdom). Those experiences and knowledge helped my ascension and path to enlightenment.
Last night, 22022022, I dreamt of a butterfly with translucent wings. My twin flame was there. I've reached the fifth stage (Deva) of awakening. My job, home, Caboodle, my novel, my philosophy post-grad, travel and my twin flame have all led me to this point. I didn't force it. I didn't intentionally do any of it. I only became aware after the event. I didn't run from it. I didn't chase it. It just happened.
It was within me the whole time. A dormant divinity put to sleep by my ego, trauma and social/political/religious/cultural constructs was now awake and helping piece together why I am the way I am, why the things that happened happened and explaining the unexplained.
My goal: complete consciousness and state of unconditional love which can only be achieved through connections - travel and learning. I am a servant to Yeshua and all the master ascendants.
