Holidays filled with strippers, prostitutes and easy sex is one thing, but disguising racism and misogyny as love, is another.
I hang out with a lot of guys. I've been "one of the lads" since I was a teenager. Mainly due to my dirty sense of humour and drinking abilities.
I'm not saying I have conversations about feelings with them, it's mostly banter and bravado, but even from that you know how they think.
Trips to Amsterdam are about getting high and window shopping, going to eastern Europe is about shagging prostitutes and going to the Far East is about finding a subservient wife.
How appealing to a socially rejected, disillusioned, insecure, narcissistic guy to have an attractive, young girl pander to his every desire, never complain and be totally dependent on him.
It's a huge ego boost having a woman think you're amazing because you're travelled, have a white collar job and are a rich tourist.
This perception comes from a racist view of women. And the fact they want this from a woman is deeply entrenched in misogyny.
It's like the #metoo or #timesup movement doesn't extend to POC who live outside of Europe, North America or Australia.
How insulting that white guys are so frightened of gender equality and growing scrutiny about their treatment of women, that they go to other parts of the world to find a woman who they percieve as obidently fitting into the 50s housewife persona.
I've seen couples of all ages sit in silence or have functional conversations. The men don't look fulfilled and the women look disappointed. All the dreams spun in courtship ended with them cleaning piss off the floor, cutting toenails and scrubbing potatoes.
And the fact that men continue to do and put up with it says more about their ego and prejudice.
Let's face it, how many of us see a white guy with a Thai girl and think love story?
There are also reports of Bullingdon Club parties exclusively inviting/hiring black women. And we've all heard reports of white men going to the Far East to indulge their urges and coming back with a brow-raising wife. If this isn't fetishising a race, I don't know what is?
Going abroad looking to date a "desperate Japanese woman" - yes, I heard an Australian backpacker ask a receptionist this or to marry an "Asian girl who'll do what whatever you want" - yes, I heard a group of British lads discuss this in a Saigon bar or go to Estonia to find a girlfriend who's an "aspiring model who'll fuck me for my cash" - yes, I heard this from a male friend.
This is not ok, it's racist and misogynistic. Date women because you fancy them, because you have lots in common, because they challenge you and enrich you. Don't go after women who you think will do anything to live the European/Western dream.
